I wouldn't be so paranoid if they weren't out to get me
"Code Orange," it says. "Yeah, right," I say.

I can't shake the feeling that I'm being somehow manipulated by these government warnings. "They're coming to get us," says Mr. Ashcroft. "That's why we need to go drop bombs on some third-rate piece-of-shit Middle Eastern dictatorship," says Mr. Powell. "We will not allow other nations to hold us hostile," says the President. (Really. That's what he said.)

The message: Live your normal life, but while you're at it, please be scared out of your wits. That's how we can justify a war.

I'm not buying it. But I'd really hate it if I was wrong.